I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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