Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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