the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
