Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
