well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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