I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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