it was like eating out sand paper
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
