halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
