So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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