I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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