I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
