oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
