Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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