I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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