You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize