I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
