Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
