He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
