Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
