tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
