Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
