no you cant smoke seaweed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
