I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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