East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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