5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
