sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
