from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
