You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
