I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My bed smells like the plague
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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