things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize