i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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