You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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