Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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