Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
