I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
