And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
they need to just BURY HIM!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm always down for nudity.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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