'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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