Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
