The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
