pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
