9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
