He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
