Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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