time to smoke my breakfast
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
