She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize