Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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