he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
