sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize