If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
