Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
