the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
