I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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