I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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