am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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