Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
