Just fell off a train. Bad.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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